As a woman that likes women I identify myself as a lesbian, and a member of the LGBTQ community. Recently I have had a lot of trouble trying to understand the many different terms for sexuality and gender.
I came out at the age of 15 in 2010 and around that time a lot of girls were coming out as bisexual it almost seemed like a trend. I was always a tomboy having played basketball and soccer for pretty much all of my life. I began to wear more guy clothes as I became comfortable with my sexuality. Although I dress like a guy (whatever that even means) I never wanted to be considered a dike, stud, soft stud, or anything that pertains to being a tomboy lesbian because, I am myself. I have already labeled myself as a lesbian why do I need to label myself any more than that? If you have ever had a conversation with me about my sexuality and if I come off as a dike or a stud or whatever, I always say "I'm Yanni".
I'm not really one to feed into labels because at the end of the day, who cares?
A few weeks ago my friends and I were at the club, smoking in an alleyway with this guy we met, and he asked us if we were "homosexuals". It was obvious that he used the term homosexual because he did not want to offend us but surprisingly my friends were offended...I was beyond confused... They were saying that the term homosexual was "outdated" and the better term to use is gay...when I tell you I hit the biggest biggest stale face of my life...I hit the biggest stale face of my life.
Recently there has been a very big spike in the usage of gender identity and sexual orientation terms and as a lesbian, I feel bad for not knowing/not giving a fuck about what any of them mean... There are so many new terms to learn and understand and to differentiate that honestly I cannot bring myself to spend the time to learn about. Recently a friend of mind was telling me about this new dating app called HER and I signed up it (for research purposes only *wink wink*) and I noticed a plethora of sexual orientations that I honestly thought meant the same things.
I read 2 articles (101 and Comprehensive List) about the different definitions of sexuality and gender for the sake of not sounding like a jackass in this article and I had a hard time determining the difference between a lot of gender identities and sexualities and I know that there is definitely a difference but it is so complex how can somebody really understand it? Why are people so hungry to put themselves in a category thats slightly different than another category? Why is there a need for umbrella terms? Is there REALLY a need to be "different" in a sense that there needs to be a plethora of gender identities and sexual orientations? Why are they so important?
At the beginning I said I identify as a lesbian but now I have decided to say fuck all of that, who gives a fuck what I identify as, my name is Yanni, I am Yanni, me being a lesbian, or a queer woman or anything of that nature will not change that so I identify as Yanni, nothing more, nothing less.